Since I was about 13 I started going by my nickname, which happened to also be my last name, Binley. At first, I went by Binley mostly during soccer. With Andrea being my first name there was a season that there were so many Ambers, Ashley’s, Amanda’s, it was just easier to have a name that sounded different. I began to just prefer my last name and it seemed to fit my personality more too.
I also refuse to answer being called a different pronunciation of my name, Andréa, Ándrea, I’m just the simplest version without any additional inflection. The rest of the pronunciations are beautiful but they just aren’t my name.
So when I started taking fire classes I would go up to my instructors before the first class and ask to be called Binley. This was two fold. For one I preferred it and the second was in a classroom full of men not having a girlie sounding name meant not standing out more than I already did.
In the fire academy everyone goes by their last name anyway, so it just fit.
Fast forward to getting married...
I always thought I would traditionally take my husbands last name. Which I did on our marriage certification and social media accounts (which is what makes it’s official these days, right?). I told my husband I was having a hard time letting go of my last name so the compromise was me having two middle names. I put my maiden name as a second middle name. So to all those who ask “can we still call you Binley?” Yes! Please do, it’s still my name. I also told my husband that I wouldn’t be changing my name on my turnouts at work. I worked hard to try to earn a reputation I can be proud of and that name behind that reputation was mine my whole life and I wasn’t willing to retire it.
He understood and was supportive. As a gesture though I also got a turnout name placard with my married name for Declan’s new born pics (let’s not confusion the poor babe more than need be). Look at that face!!!
I wear my married name with pride because it represents our union. I also introduce myself with my maiden name because it fits who I am to my core. What name do you go by; first, middle, last or something entirely different? If you are married or planning on being married do you plan to change or keep your name?
For me the bottom line is do what feels right to you and if you have a supportive spouse they will understand.
The first time I got married, I took my husband’s name because, well...that’s just how it’s done, right? For me, that was a huge mistake. I very much felt like I had lost my identity. When we divorced, I was incredibly happy to get my name back. I’ll never change it again. It’s something that my current boyfriend and I discussed early in our relationship and his support of that decision is one of the reasons I am convinced he’s right for me. Kudos to you for knowing yourself well enough to recognize how important “Binley” was to you, before you gave it up.